The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
