Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
