so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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