I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
