i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
