Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
