my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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