its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
