I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
