Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We just shotgunned beers for America
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
