I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
