New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
