Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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