Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize