You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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