The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
