Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
