He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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