I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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