She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
