"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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