Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
