My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
