Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
