Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
