a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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