with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
