I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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