Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
