I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
