Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
