i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
two words...techno handjob
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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