i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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