you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
