The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
