I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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