Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
