She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize