im about as happy as oj after his trial
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All the doctor said was why
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
