your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize