just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dear god my vagina.
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