Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
