Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
