I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I came so hard my ears popped.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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