I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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