thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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