I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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