the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
