never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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