We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
