I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize