so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
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IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.