Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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