What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
