I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
