Farmville is her only friend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
