sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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