she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
