he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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