fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
